released January 26, 2021

An interview with painter Michael Pankow:

Aaron of TBATB: Why did you agree to donate your paintings to "The Burden and the Blessing" project, without knowing what they will be used for?

Michael: Curiosity mostly, just knowing your diversity in your vast amount of projects. It truly means a lot that you thought of me for your project and for that I'm very grateful. I've probably given away more pieces than I've sold and that's just how I am. I just want to have a small legacy for people to remember me by. I love to share my works as I like others to see what makes me "me".

Aaron: What does the project name mean to you (knowing that you have yet to hear any of the music)?

Michael: The "Burden and Blessing" is the strange times we are living in. Covid is indeed the Burden. It's constantly changing how we live our lives. Normalcy is still at a far reach. The blessing of this pandemic is we are shown who and what not to take for granted. Another blessing of a quarantine is artists and musicians are given even more time in which to be creative. 

Aaron: You have some health problems, would you mind sharing them with us today?

Michael: I was born with Marfan Syndrome, a connective tissue disorder.  It affects the heart, eyes, blood vessels and skeleton. I have been affected by all of these with the heart and spine being the most severe. I was a near death survivor of a traumatic brain injury when in college. 5 years ago, I sustained a stroke or neurological attack that has left me with bilateral Trigeminal Neuralgia. My hardest to date. Some doctors say I had a stroke and others say Multiple Sclerosis is possible. Undiagnosed, as of now. I really don't care anymore. I just want to take care of my symptoms and keep on keeping on! I want to paint! Play guitar and bass! Creativity drives me!

Aaron: Do you find it comforting to be creative or is it more of a discipline?

Michael: It is both. I started painting again after a long absence right after my neurological incident. Painting became comforting as a means of pain management. It is a great distraction from my chronic pain. In doing so it became both a joyful and frustrating discipline. I am my own worst critic at times. What we practice grows stronger.

Aaron: Please list three favorite artists, three favorite musicians/bands, and why/how the six move you?

Robert Motherwell
I love the openness in his work, his broad brushstrokes and shapes and how his works are minimalistic. I checked out a book of his works at the public library so many times I lost count.

Clyfford Still
I love the starkness of his colors, how his works have movement and again I'm drawn to his minimalism. A professor once said my early abstracts reminded him of Clyfford Still. I had no idea who he was so off to the library to check him out. 

Mark Rothko
I was drawn to his "Color Field" paintings for what I see as a dreamlike moodiness. Yet again the minimalism attracts me to his pieces. Minimalism is something I've always been trying reach in my work.

Pink Floyd, King Crimson, Meshuggah, Isis, Neurosis, Deftones
They are great examples of progressive rock/Metal to me anyway. Listen to any early album from these bands and then listen to any later album. You hear that? That's called progression. It's what I hope any artist or musician is going for. I'm often known as a Pink Floyd but or Metalhead but truth is I've open ears. Classic Rock, blues, jazz, classical and Metal is how I roll. Eclectic? Yes but I wouldn't have my music any other way. Pick 3? Impossible!

Aaron: How has Covid released inner demons via your creative process?

Michael: My creative process has always been a great coping mechanism. Always a good thing to have as depression and anxiety often go hand in hand with chronic illnesses. In December of '19 I was at an extreme low point in regards to my mental health and was a danger to myself. I sought help but professional help wasn't available until March of last year. My behavioral health journey began right as Covid hit. From then it was intensive outpatient therapy until October. I was encouraged by all of my therapists to use my painting to release the darkness from within to get it out and confront it. Also I was told my creativity would be a great distraction from my physical pain but I knew that already. 2020 with Covid will go down as a tumultuous year. Yet one positive is the Intensive outpatient program for behavioral health. They saved my life.

Aaron: What is your artistic background, schooling-wise?

Michael: I studied art at Clarke College in Dubuque, Iowa. I wanted to be a graphic designer but sometime in my second year I realized I didn't really have the discipline and or talent needed for graphic design. My professor even said "You spend too much time on 3rd floor” (the painting studio). Instead of dropping out of school, I just focused on studio arts with painting, drawing, printmaking and photography. I received a BFA in the studio arts with a minor in art history and an independent study of photography.